Red:

I'm finding myself...frustrated.  2012 was a strange year for me.  A peculiar period in my life.  Things didn't exactly happen the way I thought they would this time last year, but I have to say God is in control.  It was a year of the strangest election I can remember since Michael Dukakis climbed into a tank.  I saw my first born grow like a weed.  I saw my ministry take some strange turns.  I saw my world a little differently.  As I grow and mature in Christ I'm finding out things aren't exactly the way I grew up thinking they were.  I grew up in a very open minded very inclusive (you can read very liberal if you would like) family.  I remember telling my dad I would've voted for Jesse Jackson in the 1988 election...I remember whining because Alf got preempted by my dad watching the "Demorats" (yes that's what I called them then, because I loved Alf so!).  My personal beliefs have strayed somewhat from those of my upbringing.  But that is not what I want to write about today.  Today is about an idea, a concept that has pervaded both sides of the political aisle.  It has saturated our social senses.  It is as common as an order of french fries to accompany your favorite fast food burger.  It is on single word: Tolerance.

Political correctness not withstanding, this word and this concept puzzle me.  Think about it.  What has this come to mean?  Acceptance? Compassion? Kindness?  Mercy?  Favor?  Respect?  Those who preach tolerance from their public pulpits would like you to think so.  But is that really what is being taught?  Are those who preach and scream for tolerance really practicing what they preach?  I could name any number of situations that have become national news that have been probed, and prodded, and manipulated by the pundits begging for tolerance.  Chick-fil-a, Louie Giglio, Hobby Lobby, just to name a few current events that are spattered all over our conscience...but is tolerance really the goal?  Are we called to be tolerant of others?  To coin a phrase not uttered by me since 1993...What Would Jesus Do?

Before I attempt to address that question I want to delve into the heart of tolerance.  Pragmatically is this really a term that we should strive for?  As a youth pastor there is a specific group of students that cause me problems EVERY YEAR.  There are always great kids in this group, but is seems their filters, and their common sense simply turns off for an entire year...yeah...you other youth pastors are currently saying their names right now....it's 7th grade girls!  I don't know if it's the hormones, the chemical changes in their brains, the crazy changes happening in their bodies, the onset of puberty, the reality of boys becoming a desirable commodity, or a dangerous elixir of all of these rolled into one.  But 7th grade girls are extremely difficult to deal with.  It's constant bickering, "she said this, but she's my best friend, but I hate her, now she's my best friend, but then she dated my ex boyfriend so I hate her now too"... I could go on, but alas, I believe you have the idea.  Once they hit the 8th grade most things seem to balance out...there is of course occasional drama after the 7th grade but it seems they get most of it out of their systems while in the 7th grade.  I TOLERATE 7th grade girls.  I tolerate them because I have enough experience to know that in a short while, they will be 8th grade girls!  Now please don't take this wrong!  I love all of the kids in my ministry, but anybody who has ever dealt with junior high kids know what I'm talking about here...Now with that stated, I return to my previously stated question: Is tolerance really what we should strive for?  Is this really a worthy aim for our society.  I look at groups who are clammering for tolerance, and I wonder if they would be happy with society simply tolerating them?  I don't think that is good enough!  I have a specific example that is weighing on my heart.  I have a student in my ministry who has been dealing with same sex attraction.  I have tried to meet with him regularly, I have always spoken with him honestly and openly.  I have never condemned his feeling the way he does, nor have I shaken my Bible at him and called him a sinner.  He knows what the Bible teaches on the topic, and he has been a active member of our youth group for some time now.  I have copied and pasted an excerpt from a facebook post he recently posted on a picture of some cross dressers, that really broke my heart:

"Let me just say, I love these people, they have tought me one thing, and that is being me and not giving a flying **** of what my sexuality is. I would do anything for any of em'. To be honest if it wasn't for them, I would still be hiding and playing the whole christain act. I'm sorry but this is who I am. I respect these people so much and I couldn't love them more. If you have any kind of problem of me being Gay and them being who they are, **** off. Ain't nobody got time for that. Thank you guys for showing me it's ok to be yourself and love the same sex. I love you guys."

Does this look like someone who is looking for tolerance?  I have "tolerated" him, and his struggles for almost 2 years now.  I am just now realizing that my tolerance was a sorry surrogate for love.  I got frustrated by him, and even (this pains me to admit) avoided him for certain time periods because I didn't want to deal with the drama.  I was one of the most tolerant people to this young man, and I was even told this by another youth pastor who saw my interactions with this student.  But it wasn't enough.  He wasn't looking for tolerance.  He was looking for what we all look for.  Love.  Agape.  Never ending.  Love goes so far beyond tolerance.  It reaches through the muck of human relationships and reveals a more intimate bond.  Look at Jesus' reaction to a similar situation:

John 8:2-11

New International Version (NIV)

² At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. ³ The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group ⁴ and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵ In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” ⁶ They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. ⁷ When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” ⁸ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
⁹ At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. ¹⁰ Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
¹¹ “No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Now there is a very important caveat I must make.  Do you see Jesus' final statement?  That is a command, not a suggestion, but look; He met the woman in the midst of her sin and rebellion, stood up for her, and her rights, and her value.  He built a relationship with her and THEN He was able to show her a better way.  I will stand upon Biblical mandates until the day that I die.  But I will NOT push others away in the name of my own self righteousness anymore!  We love to talk about God's grace and mercy when it deals with our sin, but when we start talking about others lives, God's righteousness, and justice seems to be our favorite topic.  It is time we stop being tolerant Christians, because we are called to be MUCH, MUCH more than tolerant!  We are called to a higher standard!

I will leave you with the words of John: I couldn't sum it up better:

1 John 1:5-10

New International Version (NIV)

⁵ This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. ⁶ If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. ⁷ But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all^[a] sin.
⁸ If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. ⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. ¹⁰ If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.

1 John 3:1-10

New International Version (NIV)

3 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. ² Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears,^[a] we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. ³ All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.

⁴ Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. ⁵ But you know that he appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. ⁶ No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.
⁷ Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. The one who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous. ⁸ The one who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work. ⁹ No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God. ¹⁰ This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not God’s child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother and sister.
 So we must be in the light as He is in the light, and we must enter into the world without condemnation, or preconception and love with the love the Father has lavished upon us!