Let's be real about Newtown

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Living in a now world, I'm amazed at the immediacy that we constantly overreact to certain situations, and almost as immediately dismiss them...(wait for the next impending doom/tragedy that catches the media's fancy)  Now before you decide to run me out of town/string me up/flog me, please understand, I DO see the need to show empathy for the community of Newtown, and the families who have been forever changed by the happenings of the past week.  However, I do not see the need to over examine/over expose the events surrounding this tragedy to myself, or my family.  Let me explain why:  Our horror, shock, disdain for what has happened will be short lived.  We will be distracted by the immediate needs of our own life, and community at some point in the near future, and naturally those immediate needs that affect us will supercede the long term needs that this community is facing.

Let me share with you from personal experience how this will go down:  Most of you reading this know my story, but a few may not so let me share.  When I was 11 years old my mother passed away suddenly, from complications of numerous health issues.  I lived in a small town called Nowata, the entire community rallied around myself and my father.  My dad was very involved in the community, as one of the only attorney's in town.  The teachers at the school made dinner for us for MONTHS, there was a group of kids who took my bike (which had been stolen and stripped and did not work well) and got it fixed...For weeks everyone I saw told me how sorry they were for me, and how they were praying for me.  It was awful...I had to relive the horror of the reality of facing the rest of my life without the love of my life as an 11 year old 6th grader with every conversation I had.  Now these folks were all well meaning, and please don't think I'm not grateful, I appreciated the sentiment of their well wishes...but I was broken.  What's worse, about a month after, everyone went back to their regular lives.  The teachers went back to giving me detention, that group of guys that fixed my bike went back to bullying me and calling me names, and those well wishers went back to their own lives.  There was one BIG problem:  I still didn't have a mom, and I was still broken. 

There was a family however that recognized this fact.  It was the family of my best friend at the time Kurtis Sears.  Now, our families were total opposites.  I'm a city boy, my dad and I would go hunt quail every now and then, but the Sears'  well...I had fresh (and I mean scrape the film of the top fresh) milk with my cereal when I would stay the night.  We would have pig rodeos at their house...at my house we played basketball on my half court in my back yard (which took up almost the ENTIRE back yard.  The Sears' had acres to go run around on.  Yet when I was there the pain seemed diminished.  The fact that I still didn't have a mom didn't change, but they made the necessary investments in my life to help me move through it!  (because you never get over it)  I am still very grateful to Dwight and especially Susan Sears.  She became my first surrogate mom.  I had an entire row at my wedding right next my family reserved for my Surrogate moms, like Pam Landrum, Barbara Billingsley, Rhonda Cox...all ladies who took the time to invest their love and support into me, in a way that was meaningful, and at times costly (both in time and money!).

I say all that to say this:  If you're not going to be willing to make the long term investments in the lives of the families of Newtown CT. to help them move through this tragedy, don't waste your time with ancillary shows of support such as vague fb posts, or I even saw a t-shirt company I used to buy from for my youth groups is doing a fund raiser selling Newtown CT. shirts....All of these superficial shows of support WILL make YOU feel better, but will do very little to help the ACTUAL victims who have been marred by this tragedy. 

I do have a proposition.  there are hundreds, and thousands of people, who need support, who need love, who need discipleship.  How about instead of focusing our attention on a community that is so far away that we can't do any REAL good for, how about we focus on the hurting, the mourning, the troubled here in our own communities.  Take this tragedy and turn it into motivation to invest in the lives of kids here where God has planted you.  26 families have been forever changed, and that is tragic, but what is more tragic is that so many of us ignore the millions of families elsewhere who are in need of some surrogate moms, and surrogate dads, and brothers, and sisters.  Let us not work in vain, but let us advance the Kingdom of Heaven for His names sake!

1 Corinthians 15:54b-58

New International Version (NIV)

^54b then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”

⁵⁵ “Where, O death, is your victory?
    Where, O death, is your sting?”

⁵⁶ The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. ⁵⁷ But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

⁵⁸ Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

Blue-Fatherhood

Blue-

This is my first real blog so forgive any newb mistakes!  I've found myself needing an outlet for everything God is doing in and through me, and many men wiser than me have found it therapeutic to write, so I figured why not me!  As a self proclaiming math nerd I must admit this is a scary proposition!  I paid English majors to proof my Civ papers because...well...I could!  The results were always far better than if I had just gone with it!  So here you will find occasional thoughts and dilemmas, and even a rant here and there!  I hope you enjoy, and as always, feel free to express your views, and thoughts as they are always welcome!

The thought hit me like a ton of bricks!  I am soon to be a dad to another soul!  This guy right here currently has my heart, but my wife (Lindsey from here on out) and I were discussing the other day the likelihood of having a VERY different experience with the next little guy God is blessing us with!  Now, my son (Titus if you didn't know) is almost 2, and he has begun to push things.  Lindsey and I have always been united in our view of discipline.  This view seems to disturb many, especially several members of my family.  Even to the point that some members of my family have even requested that I revisit the idea of spanking my son.  Now hear me out:  I do not believe in beating any being for no apparent reason.  I DO believe that a varied, and appropriate response to certain behaviors must be taken.  I also acknowledge that different people respond differently to different disciplines.  I also believe (and teach and preach as often as people will listen) that positive reinforcement is just as vital an aspect of discipline as instilling repercussions for negative behavior and actions.  As a matter of fact I try to praise my son far MORE than I chastise him, as I want him to understand what behaviors and actions are appropriate, and encouraged more than I want him to constantly be pushing the boundaries to find out what he can get away with.

As I was revisiting this concept in my head, God (as He often does) tapped on my hearts door with a truth.  What would our churches, and our individual lives look like if we truly understood God's desire and discipline in our Relationship with Him.  I believe there is a very significant correlation, and a profound insight in God's choice to have us relate to Him as Abba Father.  Love is the motivation for discipline.  Wisdom is it's foundation.  God knows what lies down the road of both our positive AND our rebellious choices, and wants us to choose Him, because His desire if our ultimate good.  (Jeremiah 29:11)

I am reminded in my church, and in many of the churches I visit of some people I've come across in my life, whose rebellion has worn their parents down to the point that they just don't have the wherewithal to continue to attempt to direct their children in a manner that will keep them safe.  I feel for those parents, as they are not bad parents, they are not bad people, their kids are not even inherently "bad" they just don't listen.  In feeling sympathy for those parents my mind necessarily drifts back to Abba, Father.  How many of His children have responded the same way.  He speaks to them each day, each moment, and their response is normally: "whatever". 

You see I am attempting to raise my son in a manner that reflects my Abba, Father.  My earthly father did a great job of raising me amongst some horribly trying circumstances.  I thank Him for that, and I see His desire to honor God in how he raised me.  As I continue to grow and mature as a father, I want to reflect Jehovah in as many ways as possible.  So when I see my son approaching the Christmas tree with that look on his face that can only mean one thing, I am going to sternly warn him "don't touch that", I will praise him when he stops, and I will punish him when he breaks something.  I am thankful God continually disciplines me.  I hope I never get to the place where I "hear" my Father's voice, and ignore it to the point where He stops wasting His breath.  I think our homes, our lives, and our churches would look drastically different, if we understood what God is doing in our lives, in our hearts, and in His People from the perspective of a Loving Father.

Galatians 4:4-9

New International Version (NIV)

⁴ But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, ⁵ to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. ⁶ Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” ⁷ So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.

⁸ Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. ⁹ But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?